Saturday, April 23, 2011

"Online Manila, Anyone...?" Part Two

                                                 Image taken from

Why buy the cow when you get the milk for free...? PART 1 

Yes, true...why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? I mean, why spend money when you can get freebies, right?

Ever since I returned here, I am pretty amazed at how the "dating" has evolved in this country. Online dating became more popular now, and now there seemed to be this "web cam" shows where men and women show themselves on cam scantily clad or naked, and will do a "show" on a video cam. Some women do it for free, or asked for a fee, i heard. And I was told, too, that, it has become a sort of a profession here especially for university students. In fact, I had been told that police have raided such places where this web cam shows are being held.

Uhmm...either I had been away for too long, or that I was totally in a different world there that I was never kept abreast of this so-called "web cam" thingy. It's just that over there, even if we do online "dating," as far as i was concerned, I met dates on initial contact through online, then we meet up, and that's it. We never chat endlessly, look at each other through a web cam,or do some bloody shows! It had always been a face-to-face encounter.

However, coming back to Manila, and not knowing anyone anymore, feeling sometimes alone and lonely and not knowing anyone anymore, I resorted to "meeting" people online - to meet "nice and decent" men, being the primary reason really. Of course, needless to say, it was a bloody disaster!

After exchanging email addresses with those I thought were decent enough to start a friendship, and hopefully, more, and accepted an online chat, these bloody bastards asked me for a fucking (excuse the French) "web cam show!" I was such a daft then because that was unknown to me. he asked me to show my breasts, and other private parts on the web cam.

I was flabbergasted, to say the least! What the hell was that? Until I met this woman online, we chatted, and she explained the whole thing to me. Then, and only then I understood what a web cam show is...disgusting, weird...these were the men in Europe or American who are lonely, have nothing productive to do with their time, perverts who prey on naive and stupid women, especially young women. However, I had been told that when a woman wants to be paid for such a show, the man disagrees, gets annoyed, and moves on to the next victim...

Yes, men, men...they want it for free. Why pay for a sexy or erotic show when they can get it for free via the web cam? After all, why travel miles to a girlie bar, spend on drinks, or entrance fees, and a show, when you can have it in the comfort of your homes, right? Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free...?

Or, another such example...I have spoken to one Filipino bloke from Adult xoxoxoxo who was asking me out. I asked him what he was looking for: he said "uncomplicated" fun. Of course, being here for some months, I understood that as a "free" shag with a beautiful, sexy, intelligent, educated, sophisticated woman. In short, no-strings fun ONLY. However, he bemoaned the fact that he has met mostly women who are looking for a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship, or that she be given some money for whatever reason. In other words, he cannot find a woman he fancies because no one wanted a "free" shag - just a "free" shag. And nothing more.

Is there such a thing as a "free" lunch...?
Is there a woman that you can meet, bring her to your place, or a motel (only in the Philippines, my dear) and just shag her? Just like that? I told him you may as well go to a club, pick up someone who is a bit tipsy or drunk, a woman who is also looking for the same thing: a shag only. But I was told, in this adult website for finding online dates around the world, local women  are not really looking for that - just  adult "fun" really. The reality here, at least, in the Philippine context, is that women here use that site either to find a partner/husband for economic reason, or a paid sex with foreign blokes - no more, no less. And if a woman is willing to go to bed with a man, then be prepared to cover her expenses to meet you, a dinner, or her shopping. Of course, some blokes don't agree, especially if you're a Filipino. Because blokes, again, especially the Filipinos who are on this site (not all Filipino men because there are those that are really sweet, decent and generous, and, sorry to say, they are not on this site), will not shell out money.

So, we go back to this cliche, why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free...?

Going back to that Filipino bloke I spoke on the phone (and yes, he was the first I spoke with since i joined this site two weeks ago, and considering what i wrote in my profile, I remember distinctly saying, among other things, that "I would like to be wined and dined, and be treated with respect..." blah, blah...), I told him that I do not see anything wrong when a woman asked you for money because you also ask for sex!

I mean why is it that when women ask for money for whatever reason she wants/needs it, men just get so mad and annoyed, yeah. He will say, listen babe, I don't even know you yet! And so, if that is the case, when a man asked for a sex after an hour of meeting each other, a woman also has the right to say, well, fuck off, babe, because I don't even know you yet! But you see, a man sometimes "demands" for sex even amongst those in tight, serious or married relationships. Yet, a wife/girlfriend "demands" money, the husband/boyfriend calls her a "goldigger." Uhmmm...

Sex and money are both powerful. A woman can use sex as her means for power, and a man can use money in the same reason. However, sad to say,the Asian women, generally speaking, as compared to the women in the Western world, are not as assertive as their Western counterparts who are more "independent and strong-willed." Unless Asian women have traveled the world, or have lived or studied in the US or Europe, they will always be bounded by our tradition of "being second to the men." Don't you ever wonder why Western men adore us Asian women? because we are "domesticated, sweet, loving, "loyal", "faithful" romantic,sacrificial," and so on. In other words, we don't have a mind of our own like the fiery Western educated females.
Images taken from the following sites:



  1. LinkedIn

    Dickie Aguado wrote:
    Hi. Thanks for sharing the link to your site. Interesting, nice reading. Enjoyed it over a cup of French roast coffee :-)

  2. On 10/16/11 6:01 PM, David Chou wrote:
    a very interesting experience for the woman who looks for friendship back home. i think it is my be she is a woman.

    when talk about being alone or feel alone, i though you mention about culture shock once come back to the society you were so familiar with. the country you were born.

    i though it should not be that difficult if you keep in touch with people you know constantly, given the popularity of internet, you should not feel alone or feel abandoned once you go back.

    however, when it is about web cam show or about money, sex and "uncomplicated relationship" when meet with men just try to get some friendships, i think the woman unlukcy.

    hei, as long as it is nothing about politics, i guess this could happen for any relationship seeker.

    all i can say, watch out when look for relationships out there. don't feel victimized. don't feel being preyed.

    i hope there might have some better channels to get back to some healthier relationships. After all, manilla is a big city, isn't it?

    best regards,

    david chou

  3. An interesting article which speaks many truths about the social divides between the East and West - Justin Finch Operations Director at
    18 October 2011

  4. TuesdayTina Kalagayan-de Dios (POSTED COMMENTS FROM FACEBOOK) 20 October 2011
    Hi Aivette,

    I read your blog and was so amused! You should put your journalism degree to good use..write more often!!

    Anyway, if you are serious in your quest to find a decent man capable of intelligent conversation.. i have a few men-friends that i can line up for you. We have a lot in common - age for one, and the generation we grew up in. They are in their 50's and are either from UP like us, Ateneo or in the same IQ they say, water seeks it own level.

    Just give me a holler ok? Thye are also in my Facebook and can point them out to you.

    Hugs Aivette..


  5. From Neil Thompson (POSTED FROM FACEBOOK PAGE, 21 October 2011)....

    hey you, not all men are like that. lol. i met ness on a dating site and we were both looking for a relationship. we have never been happier. i take your point about the webcam types and that filippino woman might be percieved as naive. u r a successful strong minded woman and you will get there in the end. dont take no shit. i think its appalling that pervy old men are trying to get no-strings fun out of respectable woman and that they cant even pay for it. when i met ness on the plenty of fish website, there were even a lot of woman who wanted no-strings but i was patient. i sat and waited and watched til i saw a nice genuine looking woman and then got chatting to ness. we sent a few emails and decided to meet up. we were both nervous and wary. but now very happy. dont give up or change who u are for anybody.
    Wednesday at 19:28 · Like

    FROM: Aivette Veronica Polotan Cortes

    Hiya, thanks for ur response. Yes, u guys were lucky as u found each other n matched! Can I post ur comment on my site? Blessings-nikki
    Yesterday at 02:09 · Like

    Neil Thompson (REPLY)...
    of course. more filippino woman should b independant and successful like you and break this idea of "the man is the boss". its too old fashioned in my opinion. i hope my comments help to make filippino woman more confident and less naive when the pervs do their worst.
    22 hours ago · Unlike · 2 people

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